IT STARTS WITH THAT WEIRD, NUMB FEELING...

Tonight PD and I are taking Michael and his uber-lovely S.O. Adrienne out for dinner to celebrate Michael's birthday. Chinese :-))) PD has PT this AM. Translation: Poopy Doo has Physical Therapy this morning. It's not helping, he'll probly end up having an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging. And I'm tiring of all these abbreviations...) I need to make time to go to the FH (Funeral Home) ; a relative of someone very close to me has died. Friday morning is PT again and a Dr. appt. for PD and then off for a much-needed visit with the JuJu Clan for the Labor Day holiday.

I'm not going to be around here for a little while. Often when Life gets Too Big for me and I don't get good sleep, I end up having panic attacks. Hasn't happened in a really long time. I knew I wasn't sleeping well but thought I was handling Life ok. Well, not ok but well enough...

Last night at work, of all places, I had me a PA. Wasn't a real bad one but it lasted a long time. When I was on the day shift, I had a friend who would help me through them. I only needed her once or twice in that capacity. So last night I had to recruit a new "helper". Try to explain to someone how to help you through a panic attack to someone while you are in the middle of one... I usually get all weepy and pissed at myself afterward and it's kind of hard not to draw attention to one's self in a roomful of twenty or so people. I found a corner though, and got through it.

But anyway, I'm going to try real hard in the next few days to get ahead of the game here so I can feel not- so- bogged- under. I'll need this morning time that I usually spend here to do other things and snag some zzzzz-s. Talk amongst yourselves and don't do anything I won't wanna miss until I get back, k? Oh, and go visit tooners and wish her a Happy Birthday tomorrow. Jeff, take care of that knee, Buddy.

*******************************************************

'AT'S MY BOY...

I'm sure none of you are surprised to hear that I just spent 45 minutes trying to post a picture of my eldest child in a vain and futile attempt at marking his Thirtieth Birthday.

And I'm sure you are also not surprised to see that, indeed, I have failed miserably, again.

I became rabidly determined to write this post honoring my son Michael recently when one of my readers inquired if I had any children besides JuJu. I realize that I don't talk much aboot my son here, and decided to ask him if he minded. "Go for it" is what I believe he said.

Let me tell you a bit aboot this kid. Being that tomorrow is his 30th birthday, I might want to reconsider referring to him as a "kid," huh? It's hard for a mom to accept that her son is a MAN.

This man, Michael, is an awesome guy. He's ridiculously handsome and amazingly intelligent. He has a sense of humor to rival professional comedians the world over. He's got an uncanny talent for reciting comedy routines word for word and a comprehension for Sports statistics, etc. that just blow my mind. You know those people who seem to excel at everything they do, seemingly without effort? 'At's my boy. He's one of the most likable people you'd ever meet. When I step back and look at him, proudly, it amazes me that I carried him inside my body for 9 months. I've had to crane my neck to look up at him for as long as I can remember. And I do, I look up to him. And I want to wish him a Happy, Happy Birthday.

I Love You, Mikey :-)

***************************************

AUGUST 27 @ 6:30 AM (two posts for the price of one today, folks!)

It is so very wonderful to be alive. How would I know this, you're wondering... Let me tell you.

I had just watched my new dvd, Collective Soul's "Home" concert. I finished a can of cashews and a bag of dark chocolate covered raisins. The endorphins were surging through me and I was feeling incredibly peaceful and sated. I noticed the sun starting to come up and went out on the back porch for some more good feelings. I was SO not disappointed. It had rained a bit through the night and the air was very fresh and sweet. The night sounds were still buzzing and chirping, mingled with the morning birds starting to sing. No traffic sounds, no people around. Everything is still incredibly green and beautiful. Was like my own private little wonderland. As I sat on the swing drinking in the sights and smells and sounds, I started to think about all the people I care aboot and then all people in general and thought "what is everyone doing right this minute?" and I wished they all could be feeling exactly what I was. The peaceful satisfaction of breathing in and out and loving the sensation of just that is something we all take too much for granted. This is what I wish for you today, not just my loved ones but all of you... a moment in time to just stop and experience the wonderful, exquisite feeling of just being alive. If life could only be one long continuous string of moments just like this... and we could share it with one another. What could be better than that? What, really?

******************************************************

ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF "GRILLING"

My new curious, caring crew has really gotten me thinking. And I'm realizing some things aboot myself that are perplexing me just a bit. A few of the questions I've gotten are slightly provocative and rather "telling." What I'm noticing aboot me is that I have grown up rather repressed and self-conscious. What I'm struggling with at this very moment is whether that is a bad thing or if I should thank my parents for raising me to be (pretty much...) a "Lady." I see now too, that I have spent my entire life in a battle with this... I want to have fun and be fun and at the same time, retain some dignity and class. You know there are always situations where there comes a point that you "let down your guard/hair/whatever" for the sake of a good laugh.

That is difficult for me to do. In real life, mostly. Here, I tend to take liberties. Not that I'm hilarious and smutty here. But still.

Actually though, when I think aboot it, my life is a whole series of this kind of struggle. I am a Pisces and we fish swim in two directions non-stop. (So does this explain why you all thought I was schitzo??? Maybe I should have told you this from the very beginning.)

Now to Jeff's question. He asked me "What is the most risque thing you have ever done in public?" Looking back, pretty much everything I've ever done that could be considered risque was done with the utmost discretion. I've done a lot of those things but not what you would necessarily consider "in public." Once at our camp, I bathed outside. "Bathing outside at camp" consists of stripping down and washing one's body with soap, washcloth and water in a basin sitting on an open truck tailgate. (basin sitting on tailgate, not bather.) It was incredibly freeing and at first it felt really weird being naked outside. But, being that it is neither risque or in public, I guess I'm not answering your question. Here's another shot at it... Once I "made out" in a Corvette (I was going to say in the back seat of a... lol) in the parking lot of a bar aboot ten feet from the entrance. I'm not sure what was more difficult, not being seen or the actual making out.

I've really missed out. Never danced on a bar. Never flashed or mooned anyone. Never had sex in a glass elevator. Never skinny-dipped in public. I better go get busy.

***************************************************

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A FEW HOUR'S SLEEP MAKES...

A beautiful night in PA to spend with a few neighbors throwing back a few beers. Did just that. We didn't have a fire because nobody had any wood, but we sat by the fountain, had live guitar music and laughed and had a great night. Everybody pooped out at 2:00 and here I am, wide awake, a little buzzed on Purple Haze.

Update: That was early this morning. It's 10:30 am now and it's quite evident to me and my throbbing head that last night was a little bit too fun.

I promised to answer questions:

I'm sure JuJu was kidding (you funny little kidder, you) when she asked me this-

Who is your favorite child? (of your own, that is) Well, JuJu, I'm partial to my oldest son and my youngest daughter. Which one of yours do you like best??? ;-)

Tomorrow I'll post another. Right now I think I might go pop an Advil or something...

Have a great weekend for me would ya?

************************************************

YOU LIKE ME!!!

I guess I got me a more caring, curious crew :-) That title sounds pitiful. Please know I'm being silly. It's Friday morning, the beginning of my weekend and I'm happy as all get-out.

I asked for questions yesterday, and I got a few. And they're pretty interesting. I didn't have to think too awfully hard, and I appreciate that. I may not get to them all at once but I will answer then in the order I received them...

From Simon:
1 - You can re-do (or not do) one experience in your life. What is it and why?
When I was 19, I was enrolled in The Ivy School of Professional Art. I got married instead. I should have done both. I would have an established career by now instead of harboring a fear of "starting over" at this stage of the game...

2 - What's your favourite part of your body? Of a man's body? I love my hypothalamus. *winks* I don't think I even have one of those anymore. Seriously... I don't have a favorite part of my body. For the most part, it's pretty ok with me. I am too thin though. Actually, if I could gain about 10-15 pounds, that would be great. Assuming of course, that the whole weight gain was evenly distributed and didn't all end up where I sit. If you would make me pick, I would say my eyes. They seem to work for me.

On a man's body, I tend to favor nice eyes, lips, hands and a hard, flat stomach. Strong thighs are a big plus. But all those things are worthless without a functional brain. Oh, and one more thing- that very, very soft silky skin on the top of a man's foot right above where the toes are attached? Love it.

3 - What's the worst part of your personality and why the hell haven't you done anything about it yet? This is one of those that will take up an entire post. I will go get fresh coffee and tackle this in a bit.
(A little tongue in cheek on that last one, my dear.)

****************

Okey Dokey. here we go... Taking ALL my faults into consideration and putting them in the appropriate categories finds me a little overwhelmed... but when I decided that procrastination is the most troublesome of all, and that coming under the all-encompassing category of Lack of Self-Control, I will address that. I am completely undisciplined. I can reason well enough, I can look at a situation and see benefits as well as consequences. That is not the problem. Maybe I'm selfish and hedonistic. Lazy? Nah, I don't think so. I could go into more detail but this would read like a Freud/Jung case study. So this will be my answer. I have no self-control. And why the hell haven't I done anything aboot it? Because I'm a procrastinator. A vicious cycle, eh? But it's my cycle and it gets me from Point A to Point B. Usually in a long-drawn out journey with lots of scenery and the smelling of roses on the way. I guess deep-down in, I enjoy the ride more than I want to change.

********************************************************

DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY...

I don't have anything to say today. In the past, several times I suppose, I have opened myself up and asked you all if you had any questions for me. All several of those times I have been H.U.B.A.R. (humiliated beyond all recognition) since no one (NO ONE) even asked if I have any tattoos or what I sleep in or if I dream in color or any of those regular questions that one asks any Joe on the street for crissakes. But since I am a sucker (not that anyone would ask me if I was...) and my readership has changed somewhat- hopefully to a more caring and curious crew, I'm going to invite you ONCE AGAIN and probly the last time if I know what's good for me- and no, usually I don't, but that's another post....

I'm waiting... And I promise to answer honestly (or not at all... *wink*)

You know what would be totally cool? If the questions were interesting and insightful and I could actually amass fodder for a few more posts....

*********************************************

SOMETIMES...

• ... I prefer to be alone with my own thoughts. Chances are good that I won't be trying to solve a problem or make a decision. I'm a Pisces, I live in a dreamworld so chances are, I'll be thinking of where I would rather be at the moment, with whom and doing what.
• ... though, rarely, I just like the quiet. More often, I listen to music or birds or whatever but once in awhile, quiet is good.
• ... I watch Jeopardy or Funniest Home Videos. Not very dam often tho'.
• ... I sleep on the wrong side of the bed or in the middle. Just for a change.
• ... I get wrapped up in something I'm doing and lose all track of time.
• ... I get profoundly sad. To the point of tears. I will think of something unjust or tragic or just the general state of the world and cry. Usually it passes when I'm finished crying. I believe crying is a good thing, I recommend it to all my friends.
• ... I think it might be good to have a dog or a cat. Then I come to my senses. I have PD.
• ... when I don't get mail I get an attitude. ;-)
• ... I think of selling all my belongs, our house and just taking off and seeing where we end up. (I would have to clear this with PD first, of course.)
• ... I like to sit on the swing on a cool rainy day wrapped up in my Chris Madden throw.
• ... I think it might be fun to invite everybody here over for a party. Then I realize the absurdity of it all and become profoundly sad. Short cry and then I'm over it. ;-)
• ... I wonder what it would be like to live only with absolute necessities. And music.
• ... I decide not to post here everyday, but then I do.
• ... My head gets all cluttered up and I can't think any more. Like now.

**************************************************

FAMILY TIES


...was a great show, does anybody remember it?

The family reunion was great. Aside from the fact that it rained almost all day Saturday, that is. But hey. It was a smaller-than-usual bash. I think alot of the "townies" woke up that morning and thought "no way." There were still a lot of us from out of town there.

For me, as the day went on (And I'm not terribly proud to announce this) it was the "beer equivalent" of a wine-tasting party... minus the raspberry Haze, of course. Odd thing was, about 2am, I was getting a headache. But when I woke up Sunday morning at 7-ish, I felt wonderful. Small wonder. That was great, everyone was still asleep and I walked up to the pavillion and had my coffee and woke up with the birds and the ferns and the pine trees and the way-fresh country air. Was SWEET. I want to live there.

We didn't really get to do our annual sit-by-the-fire and act silly. We tried about 4 times and the rain kept chasing us back under cover. It thundered a bit and there was a little lightning but it never stormed. I was grateful for that.

Coming home PD reminded me that Labor Day will be here soon and then summer will be shot in the ass. No way, I'm keeping summer as long as I can... *

********************************************************

Let's see, what do we have in the way of "annoying" today? How's this...

607. Wildly uneven cheese distribution within an omelette.

*And the moral of today's story folks, is don't screw around with your HTML or your post will end up with a funky-placed title and your words will be a crappy shade of puke green.

BACK UP TO... FRIDAY

Telephone conversation: (The purple is me.)

"Heeeey! Sparky's Beer Distributor here. What can I getcha?"

"Hi, please tell me if you carry six packs of..."

" Ah, sorry, no six packs. We only carry cases. What did you need?"

"Abita Purple Haze." (click on link)

"Purple Haze??? You mean like Jimi Hendrix Purple Haze?" whereupon he starts singing "De neh neh neh, de neh neh... as in Hendrix's Are You Experienced?...

I'm laughing at this point.

"Do you carry any flavored beers?"

"No, but if you hum a few bars..." (this guy is crazy!)

"Tell me about this Purple Haze," he continues.

"It's a raspberry flavored beer. I'm having a hard time finding it." (this was the 4th place I called.)

"Never heard of it, but I might have some Hendrix on an eight-track." (laughs.)

"You're funny, what's your name?"

"This is Jimmy. That's J-I-M-I. Who's this?"

"It's Janis," I say, "J-A-N-I-S"

(Laugh, laugh)

The conversation continued, as he arranged to get my name and number and offered to track down my beer. Didn't expect to hear from him 5 minutes later when my cell phone rang.

"Hey" I said.

"Is that how you answer the phone?"

"Um, sometimes. Why? Who is this?"

"It's me, Jimi. I got your beer. It'll be here Tuesday."

"Cool!" I'll be darned.

He told me how much, etc., asked if that was ok (!) and I thanked him, repeatedly.

"So, you wanna hear some more Hendrix??? De neh, neh..."

"It was quite a pleasure doing business with you, Jimmy. Er, Jimi. I'll see you on Tuesday."

"Lookin' forward to it, Little Lady. De neh neh..."

I laughed for the next twenty minutes. I love when shit like that happens... :-)

888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

EAT MY DUST, SUCKA (or Off to the Family Reunion)

A few hours from here is the old Homestead where my father was born. The property behind the old house has been maintained by various family members and named "(Our Family Name) Park." There is a creek, lots and lots of pine trees, mountain laurel, ferns, all in a pretty little glade in a valley. I have seen some of the most beautiful night skies there, more awesome than any I've seen elsewhere. I can never believe how many stars I see. And the Moon peeking through the trees making long shadows of the pines is enough to take your breath away. I have shared some of the most binding, loving moments in that little park. Being in a beautiful place surrounded by loved ones, some who love you just because you're "family" and others you've built a history with, is such a warm and wonderful feeling. I leave there once a year wishing that feeling would never end. Imagine the seclusion and the feeling of being cut-off from the rest of the entire world. There isn't even cell phone reception there.

Now imagine tons and tons of awesome food on top of that and what you have are the makings of one hell of a fun weekend. Oh, and the BEER. ;-) And I'm not bragging or anything but there are some really effing cool people in my family. I can't understand why so many people dread Family Reunions. I love mine. Those of us who come from "out-of-town" have gotten into the habit of camping there for the entire weekend. Later at night after the "townies" have gone home, we "gypsies" lapse into mega-party mode and spend the night (or at least until the wee hours of the morning) sitting around the fire, reciting movie quotes, acting out movie scenes, singing Johnny Cash songs, telling jokes, just acting crazy in general. At some point we re-live the craziest moments from the previous year and that is getting to be a time-consuming practice ;-)

So I got some cooking and packing to do. Outta here, man. You have a good weekend too.

WHAAA???

Hate to disappoint but I took the Geek Test and scored too low to even be on the scale. So I nosed around and took this one just out of curiosity. I have to tell you, I was suspicious that, ok, maybe I don't quite act my age- but JUMPIN'S !!! I think I have a truly serious problem here, folks. This is a bit insane. But it could explain a few things...

You Are 18 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

SLACKER

Decided to cheat today, got lots to do. Took the test, I think it's fairly accurate. Tell me if you think it sounds like me. Maybe tomorrow I will post "What Kind of Geek are You?"...

********************************************************

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

**********************************

HOME ON THE VERGE

(I keep forgetting to say that I put a few more pictures in my top flickr box. I need to find out how to get more than six pictures uploaded at a time (and still be free.) They take FOR EVER to upload. Which is why I haven't put any new in the other box...)

I decided last night that working the night shift has ruined my house. Not my home, my house. It dawned on me that I "forgot" to Spring Clean this year. (Ok, didn't find time.) Do you realize what that means??? The new guestroom and new closet and my bathroom are "safe"; they are new and clean. The little bedroom where the computer is, is safe, cause it got cleaned well when we got the new computer and shelves put up. But the entire rest of my house... *furrowed brow, shaking head and wincing* Poop keeps saying, "Don't worry about it, when I'm feeling better, I'll take care of it." I don't know why it's bothering me so much.

You would die laughing if you saw my studio. There are still odds and ends of miscellaneous crap in there from when we gutted and redid my bathroom. That's on top of all my other crap. Not like it's in my way; I haven't done an ounce of artwork since I started working nights. If I get time, I will photograph it before I tear into it and you'll see before and after pictures. Should qualify me for some Homeowner Makeover Award. Maybe I'll be on Oprah... Actually, if Ty and Co. saw my house right now, they would pick us to be a makeover just out of sheer pity. Might have to hire a dumpster and get some shovels. I get tired just thinking of it. Which is a good thing, considering it's my bedtime. Night-night ;-)

**********************************************************

76. When a stranger asks you for the time, and your fear that you won't be able to answer in an appropriate time span causes you to blurt out, "9:17. No, 10:17! No, 9:17!"

MONDAY RANT

After having given a median/medial (help! which is it???) amount of consideration to the question I posed yesterday concerning how cultures value aging, what my pondering led me to was no more than a profound commiseration regarding the demise of our supposedly advanced, civilized society.

I realize we have evolved into a rather self-centered, pleasure-seeking, godless society for the most part. But when one REALLY looks at our culture, examines the path it's taken and the outlook down that road, one tends to either a) shake one's head in disbelief or b) shake in ones boots in trepidation. It may seem like normal, everyday life to us still, at this point, but how long can we really afford to make the choices and disregard the consequences of those bad judgements? At one time in the not-so-distant past, it was unheard of to commit an aging family member to a nursing home. They were cared for in our homes with love and respect until the end of their lives. Granted, there are extenuating circumstances that would merit such actions. But all too often, the decision to utilize this option is made out of convenience or lack of compassion. If there were a simple, rudimentary respect for elders in place in the first place, would we be so quick to ship them off?

I never want my children to be burdened with the responsibility of my care but I also cringe to think of merely existing for the sake of not dying. I'm curious to know how the situation is handled in, say... Japan, where it is traditional to treat ancestors with great honor and respect. Guess I need to do some reading.

Gah, didn't realize I was going to spend time thinking aboot this and ending up feeling all depressed and shit...

Might as well warn you now people, I'm cutting back on the schmokes in an effort to quit once again. You might be (or not?) reading a lot of ranting, depressing, psycho crap here for awhile. Do I hear you all saying "Yay!!!"? I suppose not. I haven't slated a particular "Quit Day" yet, it has to be something meaningful. That's just how I am, don't give me any crap aboot it. Although I might let Jeff put more than his two cents in... How long's it been now, Amigo?

*********************************************************

152. That it's the ones who love you who are the most adept at tormenting you.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY

Paying homage to U2 ;-)

Woke up at 7:45 this morning feeling wonderfully rested and with a smile on my face. Go figure!
Made meself a nice hot cup of coffee and headed in the direction of my beloved porch and happened to notice the temperature, which read 49 degrees. WTF! Promptly turned on my heel, (without spilling a drop, mind you...) and headed in the opposite direction. Bum-MER.

So now it's 10:30 and it's great out there. Had my cuppa and caught up on some correspondence; letter writing, cards and such. So I at least feel like I accomplished something. The thought of mowing occurred to me but I hate to disturb the wonderful, Sunday morning peace in the 'hood.

Poop felt lousy last night so we didn't go to the festival. He went to bed and I "enjoyed" the fireworks from the back porch. A nice, relaxing evening but rather lonely. Normally I can amuse myself. I watched some Mitch Hedberg for awhile and when I realized I wasn't ROFLMAO, it disturbed me and I quit. Can't possibly be "over" Mitch, must just have not been in the mood to think. Mitch was definitely a "thinking man's" comic. I was definitely in the mood to laugh, though so I came on here and blog surfed for comedy. At one point I looked at the clock and realized I'd missed SNL. Boo, hiss, Linda.

A question to ponder: Why do some cultures value aging and others despise it? A quote I came across... "Americans began by loving youth, and now, out of adult self-pity, they worship it." - Jacques Barzun. I'm not sure who this guy is but I'm guessing not American. I wonder if other cultures share this same view of us... I think we do worship it, especially the media. And I myself, lately, have had a strong yearning to be "back there." At the grocery store yesterday I watched a couple, probably in their eighties, get out of their vehicle and slowly walk into the store. I remember thinking, I don't ever want to be like them. And now I'm thinking, I hope I get that far... I see that I have a lot of homework to do to get my head in a different place.

**********************************************************

295. DJs who, as a song ends, thoughtfully repeat it's most cliche'd line as if it's profound.

THE ABRIDGED EDITION

The weather is absolutely too freaking beautiful today to sit here and pound on this keyboard. So I won't. I will however, leave you with this: It's great to be alive :-)

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

OTTO-PILE IT

(Say it outloud, you'll get it...)

Lord, help me accomplish all I have to do today. Sleep yesterday was pretty much non-existent. First, couldn't get to sleep. Mowing across the street. I managed to block that out and my cell vibrated me awake around 1:30. Trying to get back into the dream I was having was interrupted by a mild-moderate shin splint which necessitated getting out of warm and comfy bed and trying to walk off cramp. By that time I was wide awake, so had lunch and a schmoke. Around 3:30, tried to go back to sleep. Set my alarm for 5:30 so I could do a few errands and dinner before work. Instead woke up after 8 pm. I believe the word "F***!!!" could be heard around the immediate neighborhood. SOOO, the reason I'm telling you this is to set the mood for the kind of day I'll be having. Today's agenda consists of taking PD to do his banking. A trip to the grocery store. Return movie rentals. Gas tank is on E. PD's consult with Physical Therapist at 4pm. At least one load of laundry. Numerous phone calls. In and around here somewhere I will snag a nap or two. Our community festival is tonight and this weekend, I would kind of like to check that out. There is usually some good music. And food and beer :-)

Happy Friday to every one of you, and have a great weekend. Canada is probly celebrating some sort of holiday or other, seems like they're always celebrating something...

...........................................................................................................

678. The fact that you were supposed to flip your mattress over six years ago.

THIS WILL BE QUICK

The FIRST thing y'all gotta do is go here. *Shaking head* She's a trip and a half, I swear. In case you don't know, JuJuBee is my daughter and the Gamer Chick is my granddaughter. They both are high on my list of Favorite Females of All Time but I guess I didn't have to tell you that.

I'm still digging deep into myself to try to find some fodder to satisfy Simon's craving for dirt. It just ain't there! I'm really just a regular, law-abiding lady. But if I do think of something phenomenol, I'll be sure to post it. (Who's that I hear snickering???)

I've only gotten one hiccup remedy. (Thanks Dana, will let you know if it works.) PD is really having a rough time. I had to cancel his therapy this morning because he was up all night hicc-ing off and on and didn't get any sleep. Going to call the doc and see if he can get on another medication. Now that the damage has been done.

***********************************************************

235. The myth that scaring the crap out of someone can eliminate their hiccups.

OUTAGE!*

I think there's a Blogger outage today so for goodness sake I'm getting on here and off ASAP.

My post yesterday; I figured Poopy could add tons of ammunition to my list. I asked him last night to contribute, figuring he would say he didn't have that kind of time on his hands or something equally sarcastic. He didn't. He said "I can't think of anything." Well. Either I am doing exceptionally well in the roomate department or his new meds are screwing with his mental aptitude. I'm gonna go with the latter theory.

Speaking of his new meds, the poor guy has had hiccups off and on for the last 48 hours. More on than off. Any good remedies you know? Would be appreciated.

Need to go to sleep now. Talk among yourselves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*why does that word look misspelled?

DIRT ON ME

Ok, why is there a choice for what font I would like to use here on the Blogger dashboard when, no matter which one I select, they all look like this??? Aargh.

I spent some time at work last night thinking aboot this- We Bloggers, or most of us anyway, share what we want on these "pages" with the rest of the world. The information aboot ourselves is most likely what we want to share, and ONLY what we want to share. So the world's view of us is distinctly white-washed and filtered through our own brains and desires. I bet we must seem like a really large group of absolutely wonderful, amazing people.

I am going to take a risk here (not a strong point of mine, here or in rl) and tell y'all some shit about me that will change your collective minds. And I invite all of you to do the same. There's a full Moon tonight, this could get seriously interestin'.

Ok, let's see what am I gonna give up first??? Maybe I'll start out with the easy stuff and work my way up to the serious, red-face stuff that will make all your mouths drop open in disbelief. Should I use bullets? Ok, if you insist...

• I cannot leave a raggedy fingernail alone. I keep biting it until it's smooth. Then I whine and bitch because it looks and feels awful compared to the rest of my nails.
• I have too many shoes on the shoe mat inside the door. Usually 4-5 pairs to Poopy's one.
• I haven't made my bed or changed the sheets in two weeks.
• I snort if I laugh too hard.
• I can't stop buying music magazines. I have a stack of unread ones that are out of date already. But I can't get rid of them because I have to read them.
• Sometimes if I don't feel like talking to people online, I'll block them, but keep the window open in case I get mail.
• Sometimes I drink the last bit of soup out of my bowl. Or milk from cereal. But I will not eat chicken with my fingers in public. And I don't drink out of my bowl in public either.
• Sometimes I burp out loud just to see how loud I can do it. That of course depends on where I am and with whom...
• I say the F word more often that I should. But not in church and definitely not in front of my mother. Or minors.

You know, I'm bored with this. I liked it better when you all thought I was perfect.

Guess what? I don't have to go to work tonight :-))) But I'm required to attend the Company picnic tomorrow and then try to get some sleep before work tomorrow night. Might be interesting. At any rate, I'm going to go enjoy myself some awake-in-the-daytime time now.

Sorry this was lame. Maybe next time I'll make up some cool shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ALL GOOD NEWS BUT FOR THE BLISTER...

I apologize for being edgy and irritated lately. I'll have to read my horoscope to see if there is something going on with my Moon or something, but today I feel way good. Refreshed and exhilarated, but peaceful too. Not so restless and that anxious feeling seems to have run it's course. Almost content. Could just be that I've been awake way too long and I'm delerious. Nah. Not going to question it. Feels too good.

Bought a slew of new cds yesterday. Can't get enough of the Cure. I'm listening to Close to You right now. Damn that song makes me happy.

While I'm thinking of it... ATTENTION- The person from Belgium with the great photoblog, if you happen to stop by here again, please leave your site address in my comments or email me with a link. I neglected to bookmark the site and would really like to see more of your pictures.

Thanks :-)

My backyard is no longer a jungle and I can see past the front hedges to get out of my driveway. It was way too hot for yardwork yesterday but it is done and I'm thrilled. I have a broken blister on my thumb to prove it. I learned a valuable lesson aboot blisters. Do not, and I stress NOT, apply "NuSkin" in lieu of a bandage on a broken blister. It will make your eyes bug out and your hair stand up. The burn!!! Oh. My. Gawd. It brought tears to my eyes.

One more thing and then I'm out of here. PD's appt. with the orthopaedic surgeon is today.

Everybody join me in wishing Feanor a very, very Happy Birthday. (He's homeless, you know.)

______________________________________________

BUD/BLOSSOM

All in all, despite the fact that PD's appointment was a "dis"appointment, yesterday was a good day. We got to spend the entire day together and that happens so rarely anymore. And even when he's in a fair degree of pain, he's a pretty fun date. He let me blast "Yaz" in the car, both ways (to and from) and only reminded me of the speed limit, oh... four or five times.

They gave him a hearing test and his hearing hasn't noticeably deteriorated. It was determined however, that he's developed a "leak" in his inner ear. The doc agreed to let him wait out another weather change or two to see if it heals on its own. If not, he's scheduled for some "new" tests in early October. So that was that...

In the mean time, I think I mentioned I'm missing Martha's Vineyard something fierce. There is just something aboot that place that I keep wanting to go back to. It's magical or something. When I miss it really bad, I'll go back through my pictures and remember. I'll recall a conversation, a face, a sound, the sheer freedom I felt there. It was just pure, relaxed bliss. Did what I wanted when I felt like it. Yeah, I realize I could have done that anywhere on vacation, but the Vineyard is just so interesting. The sights, the people I met, the food. It just doesn't seem fair to have to "pay the piper" for like, 350 days out of the year for those couple weeks of freedom. I don't know, I'm cranky I guess. Sorry for that. I just need a change. I bought myself a card a couple weeks ago, a plain red card that was blank on the inside. The sentiment on the front says "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin " I keep running over and over that in my head. I want so badly to make that day be today...

So I took Poopy out for the best Chinese food we've had in ages at the Hong Kong Super Buffet. I know, it sounds ridiculously tacky but the food was fantastic and the decor was beautiful. I asked a woman if the buffet was "all you can eat." Her English was not so good, she kept pointing to the plates. Evidently the Chinese word for "plate" as near as I could figure, sounded something like "All-ewe" as in "all-ewe-can-eat." Well, needless to say, I ate way more than my share. Three plates PLUS a dessert plate. Then we went to a video store and spent like 2 hours. I bought a crapload of VHS tapes (Poopy hates when I do that... he's a DVD snob.) Hey, they were 5 for $10. I bought 10. I even found a copy of Cutter's Way, a really old movie that I loved that I've been searching for for years.

So that was my Friday. Now it's Saturday and grass mowing, laundry, and a shopping trip for a new camera await me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Annoying...

560. Engaging in an activity which used to bring you great pleasure but now feels foreign and lost forever.

(I hate when that happens, don't you? Makes me afraid to watch Cutter's Way. Maybe it sucks now...)

CALGON...

Long, exhausting day. When I close my eyes I hear the Vineyard beckoning me...

Will post later...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DR., DR., GIMME THE NEWS

So, we go see Poopy's PCP today. She orders an x-ray after asking PD to gauge his pain on a scale from 1 to 10 (He tells her 10, and that's the first indication that I have just how miserable he really feels... he rarely gives up that kind of information) and has him turn his poor shoulder every which way but loose. Nothing broken. Then comes the dreaded (but half-expected) "I'm going to refer you to an orthopaedic surgeon," which really pisses Poopy off because his gut told him to call that guy in the first place... Nothing like wasting a doctor visit. So we'll see what comes of that.

I was wrong aboot his appointment tomorrow. It's in the afternoon, not morning. So I will get some sleep before we go. Good thing, maybe I won't get cranky sitting in rush hour traffic in these temperatures on the way home instead of on the way there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HEY YOU IN THE CHAIR!

From this day forward let this week be known as "Linda, the Blogger Slacker" Week. Maybe we'll even celebrate it as an annual event. That is, of course, assuming that I regain some brain capacity in the mean time to start up again so that I can take a week off next year at this time.

I am however, at your mercy. I need to ask for some good thoughts (prayers, if you are so inclined); one set for Poopy, he needs an MRI to find out if he has a torn rotator cuff. I understand that it's excrutiatingly painful surgery with a rough recupe. And another set for our friend Jeff A. He's having a rough time of it. I'll be saying prayers and hope you will all join me.

Thanks in advance :-)

Oh, forgot to tell you. (Guess this is turning into a post, after all...) Tomorrow is Poopy's semi-annual visit to the Balance Center. I will come home from work at the usual time (6:15 am-ish) and take him into the city. There we will sit for an hour or so after battling morning rush hour and wait to see the nurse. She will ask the same 100 questions as before, with all the same answers staring up at her from his chart. He will answer them, the same as before. We will then wait another half hour for the doctor. He will come in, shake our hands like we're meeting for the first time (again) and call us Mr. and Mrs. (insert name here, but pronounce it with a short "i" instead of the correct pronunciation with a long "i"); I will correct him, same as I always do. He will ask aboot 50 of the 100 questions the nurse asked, with the file in front of him displaying all the answers, same as always. He will look in Poopy's ears and swivel the chair around and make Poopy dizzy, same as always. He will write scripts for Poopy's meds and magically produce a little hand-held and dictate all the same information to be transcribed, forwarded to the PCP and maybe suggest a hearing test to see if Poopy has lost any more of his hearing or hopefully, maintained it. At this point, he will either have the test or report to the receptionist who will insist on making an appointment six months in the future which we will cancel twice and reschedule three times because it was made too far in advance. The doctor will cancel it once or twice so that he can fit in his golf outings... So much bull shit. Anyway, that will be our morning tomorrow. But it will, at least, be FRIDAY. :-)

**************************************************

WHAT SNU WITCHU?

I need someone to tell me the name of an awesome song that I only heard the last third of, and the last couple of words are "Lost and Lonely". I'm sure I know the band, I didn't have time to think of it when I was hearing it and now it's gone. I really liked the song a lot. I don't know if it's old or new. When I get time I'll search for it on here. Unless somebody tells me first. Thanks.

You would think that, being a kind and merciful God, He would dispense with the hot flashes on accounta it's already 400 friggin' degrees and who has enough sodium left to squeeze out one more droplet of sweat??? Criminy.

I'm tryin' real hard, guys, to get back in writing mode. And not havin' a lot of luck. Not much to share when your daily routine has been reduced to sleeping, sweating, working and freezing.

***********************************************************

154. Realizing you left a porno in your parent's VCR as you stow your carry-on luggage in the overhead compartment.

"AYE CAWN'T DEW IT, CAPTAIN"

Just can't muster up the mental energy or the ambition to post. I have nothing to say and no interest in saying it. I'm groggy from a good sleep, hungry to beat the band and have a night of work facing me. And I have to leave my nice, air-conditioned house. That's all I have to say aboot that. Maybe in the morning I'll be happier.

**********************************************