IT'S BUSY IN THERE.. Had I known the obstacles I might encounter in this "quest" I've set aboot undertaking, I'd have packed a jackhammer, a Swiffer and several cans of WhoopAss just to get through some of the thick stuff. Hah!

Yesterday I shared that I've been going to work sans mask. Today was day three. It's very interesting to me that I'm actually seeing people reacting differently toward me. I've always had a "policy" for lack of a better word, for not getting close to many people that I share the same workspace with, for many reasons I'm sure you can imagine so I'll not go into that. But I've been more aware of how I relate to people and I think that I have projected a sort of "keep your distance" force field. I don't think that I'm all that approachable. People seem to respect me but I find that I am not one to be included in those little gossipy circles that are so prevalent in workplaces where there is a majority of women. Don't get me wrong, that's more than fine with me. I don't get off on that kind of relating. I'm the person people come to for answers to music trivia or how to spell a word or who starred in a movie or things like that. They'll come to me for advice on how to deal with this or that. I've had people say they trust me not to repeat things and that they know I'll give an honest opinion. I like that and I'm proud to have that reputation. I'm speaking in general terms, of course.

The past few days have been interesting. I honestly don't think I'm behaving much differently, I'm basically just not trying to be Miss Smiley Hunky Dory. I'm smiling and saying hi, how are ya, that kind of thing. But not when I don't mean it. So let's say, I dunno, maybe it's been cut in half. I don't mean this to sound all snotty or whatever, just making an attempt at being completely honest with myself. But anyway, little subtle things are happening. For instance, someone (who I don't normally have a conversation with often) was waiting at the end of the hall for me and wanted to share a web address of a site she'd come across and thought I might be interested. That was nice. And yeah, I'm finding myself a little more relaxed. That's never a bad thing. I'm amusing myself with this little exercise. And hopefully growing and losing some bad habits.

Today I spent some time thinking aboot what growing up means. I don't know how obvious this might be to any of you but I have never grown up. Not consciously, anyway. For the most part, it hasn't caused me a lot of problems. But it's just not entirely natural for a woman of my, um, stage in life. I'm going to be giving that some thought. In the mean time, feel free to tell me your experinces, like when did you know for sure you were an adult? Things like that.

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