Friday, February 02, 2007

DIVERSIONARY TACTIC

I'm weary of the mask discussion tonight. Not that it's a done deal, I still have more to do and say on the topic, just not tonight. I'm in the mood to wreak some havoc, TC, but there's a blizzard of sorts going on outside and as this was a tiring week, I have neither the energy or desire to go anywhere. As it is, PD is playing with a new mega-horsepower snow blower in the driveway and I would have to drive over him if I did want to escape. But I don't, I'm happy to stay in with some rum and cherry Coke. And since this is my choice for entertainment tonight, I'm thinking it might be fun to talk aboot all the ways in which I have not grown up. I may have done a post on this before, not sure. I apologize if I did.

  • I bite my fingernails when I'm watching a movie. Not a lot, just little nibbles. But it doesn't even have to be a scary movie.
  • Sometimes when I call my mom, I disguise my voice. Just to be silly. She laughs.
  • I mostly run, not walk up and down stairs.
  • I don't sit up straight on the sofa (why did I say sofa? I never say sofa) - I slide down with my butt close to the edge of the seat, more like laying than sitting.
  • I play the stereo in the car way too loud. PD likes to yell aboot that. He's a grown-up.
  • Sometimes I can't bear to walk on a long expanse of tile floor. I will run and slide instead.
  • There's pretty much nothing I haven't done with a shopping cart that you can get away with in a grocery store.
  • I'm forever getting little kids into trouble with things I thought would be innocent fun.
  • I don't like to go to bed. Then I cry and kick and scream when I have to get up.
  • Sometimes I blow spit bubbles, but not in front of important people.
  • I love, love, love to play in sand. PD will not build me a sandbox though.
  • I like to talk (and read) in different accents to amuse myself.
  • When no one is looking I have been known to drink the left-over salad dressing from the salad bowl. PD knows when I'm doing it though, because I always point to something across the room and say, "look!"
  • I cry really easily. I don't care, I'd rather cry a lot than not at all.
  • I make up words.
  • I daydream. A lot.
  • I can't let well enough alone mostly.
  • I like to push the straw up and down in a fast-food drink cup with a lid and make that annoying wah-ungh wah-ungh sound.
  • It's very hard for me to sit still.
  • I love children's books.
  • I can make a lot of weird noises with my mouth. And I do.
  • I can't concentrate for long periods of time and I'm not terribly concerned aboot it.
  • I love Flintstone chewables. And Froot Loops. And string cheese. And chocolate milk.

PD could probly cite another 100 or so examples, these are just a few off the top of my head. I hope you'll share some of yours with us. And don't tell me I suffer from Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. I probly do. I'm not seeing a doctor aboot it and you can't make me. Besides, it's mostly hormonal and I should grow out of that in the next couple of years.

***************************************

19 Comments:

Blogger Mark said...

I would make my own list, but I think you covered most of mine. Just uncanny, really. I freakin'. love. that. straw sound. Mouth noises. I gotcher mouth noises.

I'll try to add a few of my own items.

Sometimes a rock guitar solo moves me to misty-eyed. And not just the slow ones.

When my wife and I are shopping, I'll pick up a small rubber ball and bounce it or toss it up in the air the rest of the trip. Did this just Thursday night in Target. I think it was a SpongeBob ball (you know, the ones that are just big enough to fit in your hand, and actually have a needle hole for putting more air in them)

If something I start is going to take more than 10 seconds, I turn around and try to do something else in that 10 seconds. Waiting is for people with way too much time on their hands.

When I make a glass of water, a sandwich, or whatever, my mind is on everything but that task.

I cannot do mindless work without music playing. I will spend more time making sure I can have music than performing the task at hand.

Cold cereal is, and forever shall be, my favorite breakfast.

That's all I can come up with for now (because you stole so many of mine).

10:26 PM EST  
Anonymous Jeff A said...

Finally I know how to spell that noise the straw makes. I do that too and it drives my wife bonkers.

I like to finish other peoples sentences, even when they are not talking to me!

I like to get behind mall walkers and go excuse me, then turn around like I am looking for who said it also!

Acoustic ceiling tiles and pencils, need I say more?

Did I mention my love of those little air horns that you can buy in the sporting goods section?

I like to argue over the 9/10ths of a cent thing on a gallon of gas! Really if I get one gallon then I should only have to pay 2.15 and 9/10ths, not 2.16!

I love to scare the hell out of people.

I like to insert odd random words into the conversation to see if anyone is paying attention to what I am saying. Try it, it's fun!

I must have music playing when I am working or I just can't focus.

And I still play air guitar!

12:52 AM EST  
Blogger Simon said...

Dear Mark,

How in the hell do you MAKE A GLASS OF WATER?!

Thank you.

Um...

I have to press down all the little buttons on the plastic lid of drink cups. If you sit at my table, yours too.

Whenever I hear Funky Cold Medina on the radio I turn it up until it hurts to hear.

I love flipping my pillow over in the middle of the night for that awesome cool feeling.

I'll go to the pantry and just grab a handful of chocolate chips to eat. (Shut UP!)

I will have entire conversations in my head and then blurt out the last line of dialogue. When I realise what I've done, I crack myself up.

I STILL believe that, someday, I will have Jedi powers. At least that telekinesis bit.

If I get bored waiting for my bread to toast, I'll grab the counter with both hands and sprint in place on the hardwood in my stocking feet. It's way harder than you think.

You also stole a lot of mine, Linda. Like, at least half your list.

1:23 AM EST  
Blogger One Wink at a Time said...

Mark, I cry at Hallmark commercials, even some McDonald's. Parades make me cry. Babies sleeping make me cry. The list goes on. You reminded me of my dad just now; on shopping trips when we were little, he would put on sunglasses and walk around the store with the tag hanging down over his nose. He even came around the corner of an aisle once with a clothes basket over his head. And there was the time he was purchasing a baseball bat for one of my brothers and was pushing it along the floor making a loud sound that sounded like someone, um, passing gas. Since there were six of us kids and that was a spectacle in itself, we were used to getting "looks" in the stores...
Waiting makes me insane. Literally.
Music on Always.

Jeff, not one of these things even came close to surprising me about you! I can't go through the toy department without pushing the Try Me buttons. PD is even worse than I am... And he is forever scaring the you-know-what out of me. Which gives him a huge thrill and just pisses me off. Someday he's going to have to revive me.
Air guitar, yes! And I play drums.

Randy, I do those buttons too. It's fun but not nearly as fun and putting bubble wrap on the floor and doing a Flamenco dance on it.
The cold side of the pillow is nearly as gratifying as, well, good sex.
I tried your technique for toast-waiting; got six stitches in my chin. ;-)

WV: NOYNKU
"No, Officer, you're not keeping up." Which is what you say when you get pulled over and the cop says "Do you know how fast you were going?

10:32 AM EST  
Blogger 2complx said...

- I like to give wedgies
- I also give wet willies
- I can make this loud clicking noise with my mouth, if I make it near your ear it will ring for a while
- I am fascinated with dragons- I've got a tattoo of one
- I can't stand to be indoors, I feel like a caged animal
- I love to climb trees
- everyone I call, I disguise my voice,and won't stop when they figure out its me
- when I call some one I always ask "WHO IS THIS?!"
- I ask everyone their favorite color
- I leave nasty voice mails - farts, burps, toilets flushing.
- I eat real fast so i don't have to sit for to long
- I take everything apart
- If I see tape I have to cut a piece off to play with
- after I open something that comes in a wrapper I roll it up real tiny, example tootsie rolls my favorite candy.

Dang you gos't me tha'nking
good weekend

11:34 AM EST  
Blogger One Wink at a Time said...

TC, I was anxiously awaiting your response to this and you didn't disappoint me. I can picture you doing all these things. I also fold/roll candy wrappers. Sometimes I see how small I can make them. Didn't know about the dragon thing... I think my brothers do that mouth noise, does it involve pulling your tongue away from the roof of your mouth real quick? That does hurt one's ears. They also make very authentic sounding police sirens.
What is a Wet Willie? Do you do that thing where you cup your hand in your armpit and flap your arm up and down? I can do that behind my knees, you have to lay on your back to do it...

12:29 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK so maybe you misunderstood my last comment. I'm technically an adult, but still not grown-up! I only act grown-up if I have to(like when I had to go to Aiden's parent conferece at school). After reading your list and seeing our similarities-I definately am not grown-up!

Natalie

3:08 PM EST  
Blogger One Wink at a Time said...

Natalie: Nah, I know how you are and I know how we get :-) Two "grown-ups" would never get as nuts as you and I do when we're together. And I thank my lucky stars for that! Oh, and please give Aiden a belated birthday squeeze for me. Something tells me he's not real big on yucky kisses.

3:31 PM EST  
Blogger FĂ«anor said...

"I'm forever getting little kids into trouble with things I thought would be innocent fun."

For real... adults get so bent out of shape when you involve kids in anything fun.

5:10 PM EST  
Blogger Moksha Gren said...

I drum on things. I drum my fingers and stomp my feet and whistle to little tunes in my head. It's a whole symphony.

I tend to walk in pace with the beat of whatever song I'm making up in my head so that my footfalls make a drumbeat.

I climb on things and can't walk away from the question, "could I fit through that?"

I love humming at the correct tone to create harmonic frequencies in a shower or bathroom stall.

I put things together. I will occasionally notice things like the fact that the satalittel remote is exactly as wide as the napkin ring on the dining room table. In this case the remote must be placed into the napkin ring and left so that others may marvel at the coincidence. Such "gifts" are left about my home or office on a daily basis.

I create strange challenges for myself. For instance...while driving to work with a thin layer of snow on my car, I put my hand flat on the sunroof to see if I could met a hand-shaped hole in the snow above me. It took the full twenty-five minute commute, but it worked.

6:52 PM EST  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

You sound like an awesome amount of fun. I can especially identify with the phony voices and accents...

7:09 PM EST  
Blogger One Wink at a Time said...

Mo'shaG: I'm having a ball imagining watching you. Isn't it funny the lengths we'll go to to amuse ourselves? You take it to a whole 'nother level! I wanna hang out with you :-)

Fab: No funner than you, Baby!
Get off here and get ready for your show! I hope you're feeling better.

7:32 PM EST  
Blogger 2complx said...

Glad to see i didn't disapoint.
Wet Willie- is liking ones finger and sticking it into someones ear.
The clicking noise is as you describe it.
The wrapper thing drives Mrs.TC crazy.

9:02 PM EST  
Blogger Mark said...

Moksha - It's like you crawled inside my head and typed out what you found. My finger-drumming habit drives my wife crazy. Along with those, here is one of mine that's related:

I like humming along with whatever A/C unit or other device is running, to match the pitch. Then, I like to decrease or increase my pitch slightly to make the "waves" of clashing notes.

Mouth closed, I click my teeth together, alternating sides, to create new drum parts.

Okay, now it's getting to be more about quirky habits instead of child-like qualities. Time for me to stop.

1:42 AM EST  
Blogger M+ said...

Ya know what? I was glad when my son was born because that meant I was gonna get to play with all of his really cool toys one day...
And I still do.
Does picking your nose still count as being not grown up? Or are there enough people who do it in their cars while they think no one else is looking to make it a common everyday sort of thing?

Ummmmm, let's see...
I still play an "air guitar". Or, in my case, and "air bass".
I listen to my music loud. Very loud!
I still jump into the mosh pit every chance I get.
I still love getting birthday presents.
I still love Christmas, and all of those Rankin/Bass animated Christmas specials.
I laugh at stupid stuff.
Oh, and my kids think I'm immature. If that doesn't say "not a grown up" then I don't know what does...

9:17 AM EST  
Blogger One Wink at a Time said...

TC: A WW is just what I thought, my brothers do that... Please don't ever do that to me.

Mark: Like I said, brothers of different mothers... I do a thing with my mouth, clicking my tongue on the roof of my mouth and making different shapes with my mouth so the sound comes out in different pitches. I also like to fill one side of my mouth with (wet) air and and suck it out and if your mouth is open it makes really cool high-pitched squishy noises. This, I believe is more child-like than quirky...

M+: Gee, I had you pegged as an adult pretty much... As Steve Martin would say, with lots of body language, "Ex-cuuuuuuse Me!"

11:51 AM EST  
Blogger M+ said...

Adult? Yes. Grown-up? Not in a million years.

5:08 PM EST  
Anonymous JuJuBee said...

I agree about the kids thing...but I draw the line when someone wants to wake my kids up at midnight to play. ;)

4:55 PM EST  
Blogger Mike said...

String cheese and chocolate milk, always...

4:56 PM EDT  

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