WELL, HELLO THERE!

Nice to see you. : -)

I refuse to write 7 posts in a row aboot being sick so I'm just going to ignore that little detail and concentrate on YOU.

Nice sunburn Mark. ;-) I would have thought you'd be all over the sunblock thing...

Hi Simon, you got a little bit of Tav puke on your collar there... Still looking good...

Juju, you should be resting. Oh, I see that you are... You packed your bag yet???

Jeff, how was your first night back at work? Should have talked the doc into one more week, huh? I thought so...

Ade, what's up? Almost time to start that holiday baking ... Holden can help this year. :-) Okay, maybe next year...

Jojo, are you keeping busy? I know bad (work) joke...

Don, hi Dude. What's new witchu? Hope you're doin' good.

Dana T., look at us. We still haven't gotten together. Now you have to wait until I'm done being sick. Hope it's before New Year's Eve...

Hazel, how's school and work? Tell SO thanks for the Paris photos :-)

Feanor, nice to see you blogging again, how's that paper coming?

Buie, I'll mail you about the blogroll thing. The quote part? That comes from your profile page, the part where you enter About Me. It will show up in the upper righthand corner.

Tooners, you had a little time away, huh? Lucky you. You had written that you hoped I got over the flu. It's not the flu, just a cough. A cough and painful sides from coughing. The flu will probly come next... :-(

Kate, how are you? I will try to get in touch with you this weekend, we do need to get together.

Who am I missing? If you'd like to be addressed, you darn well oughta start leaving comments. I'm making up a new word here... KWITCHERLURKING. hehe

Ruby, TC, Mishka, Dana N., Anomie, Mike, Marc ... Not sure if you're still reading but Hi, How are ya?

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I know I'm missing someone and I'm going to feel awful...

CRAP. THAT'S WHAT I FEEL LIKE.

I went and got all excited aboot Halloween. Or a Halloween party, rather. And then I wake up today, ready to make all the preparations for said party and realized within seconds of rolling over that it just ain't gonna happen. Standing upright is a chore. I'm so freakin' sick of being sick. "It could take awhile for the inflammation of the rib tissue to subside..." I realize that as long as I'm coughing, there will be a strain on that tissue. But shit. It's the whole way around now, not just in the front. Breathing isn't even any fun. The only time I feel good is when I'm asleep and I'm only assuming that I feel ok then.
Not going to bore you any longer with this. Those of you who I've promised Halloween video, forgive me, I'll make it up later. I probably won't even attempt to upload the clip I made for yesterday.

Y'All have a Happy and Safe Halloween for me. BOO.

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S... IS FOR SLACKER


Note: I posted a video here, it seems to be "faulty." Please stay tuned, I will reattempt when time permits.





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WHAT'S THAT THING THEY SAY ABOOT COUNTING YOUR CHICKENS?

Call me incredibly delusionally optimistic. I thought I'd be feeling better today. Of course that is due in part, to the fact that I thought there was no way I could feel any worse. But I was wrong. By the time I went to bed last night I had a fever, chills and a headache on top of the coughing and sore sides. I'd call it full fledged flu by now. But you know what, this is boring the hell out of me and I'm sure you're not enjoying reading it any more than I am writing it.
One good thing, I think I shamed Mark into enjoying his vacation instead of his laptop. Either that or he's been reduced to lurking... either that or I pissed him off and he's just not coming here.
I do need to ask for a prayer or two to help this go away before the baby comes. Not much time...

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HOLDING MY BREATH FOR A WHOLE 'NOTHER REASON...

Please, please, please let this work. If it does, my confidence in EVERYTHING will be restored. Ten fold.





By the way, that's not an amazing unblinking me. It's just a picture of me and I couldn't talk and hold the camera still at the same time. What do you want from me? I know it's a little freaky. And blue.
Now someone has to tell me how to shrink this up a bit so my sidebar will come back.
Please send all congratulatory messages in the form of pain meds... Mail me, I'll tell you my home address ;-)

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WHAT'S WORSE THAN SEARING PAIN ON ONE SIDE ?

No post today. Miserable. Calling the doctor in the morning. I will arrange to have Ju post funeral arrangements here if necessary. I would laugh but it hurts. I'm sure I'll be fine but in the mean time, THIS SUCKS REALLY REALLY BAD!!!

LIFE'S LITTLE PLEASURES

There are quite a few. Some I'd like to share with y'all:

• The same number of socks come out of the dryer as went into the washer.
• The millisecond reflex that you saves you from biting your cheek.
• Realizing that your choice to "let the machine get it" was the right one...
• Getting clear to the punchline without screwing up the joke.
• When that dreaded decision you've been putting off making takes care of itself.
• Finding a $20 bill in your coat pocket.
• Having the right change for the parking meter.
• Finding that the cd case you just dropped in the driveway didn't break.
• Fighting off a sneeze that would have otherwise occurred at a most inopportune moment.
• A good hair day. Rare and Wonderful... especially this time of year.
• Dropping the butter lid and having it land right-side-up.
• Getting a real hand-written letter in the real mail.
• Waking up and realizing you have an hour more sleep time until the alarm goes off.

What little things bring you joy? Some days we just need to concentrate a little harder on them.

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PAUL WESTERBERG - Knockin' On Mine



Apologize for the quality of this clip, only one I could find. But this is one of the reasons I fell in love with A) Paul Westerberg and B) YouTube :-) This song, Knockin' on Mine, is in my top 30 PW songs. As I come across more on YouTube, now that I figured out how to post these (YAY for me!!! Aren't you proud???) I will post more for you to enjoy. Note: this is probly the poorest quality one I will allow on here, it's just a really good song. I believe this was a Saturday Night Live performance, circa 1985.

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IF YOU'RE THINKING...

of stalking me, don't read this post. I'm serious.

Ah, never mind. I won't say where I live but on this most beautiful of all Fall days, I will say that I am glad to live in _______ern Pennsylvania. It is so absolutely gorgeous here today. The trees, I believe are at their peak of color and even though it isn't terribly sunny today, there is so much gold and yellow that sunglasses are necessary. A friend and her husband drove to Winchester, Virginia today to enjoy the scenery along Skyline Drive. They picked the most perfectest weekend of all to go. I told my friend to be sure and sample the Jonathan Apples which are abundant there this time of year. She'd never had one and is surely in for a treat. The best apples ever.

I would have rather stayed home in bed this morning but had an eye appointment to keep. PD went along and we had a nice lunch together. During our conversation we were trying to make light of how miserable we both feel and counting the hours left until we were due for our cough medicine, antibiotics, Tylenol, etc. I said to him "If you found out today that you were going to feel just like this for the rest of your life, would you off yourself?" I was joking and thought he would answer that way but he got all serious on me and said "No." I asked then, "So what would you do?" I expected a serious answer. He said he would buy aboot 5 cases of beer and talk the dr. into a script for Percoset (sp?) or something and just party for awhile... I thought the after effects of that might not make it worth the initial relief... Anyway after lunch we went music shopping for a bit. My record store was holding Rogue's Gallery: Pirate Ballads, Sea Songs and Chanteys for me. I can't wait to listen to it. Will let you know how it is. Check out some of the artists appearing on the 2-disc set and read the review. I also bought The Cure- The Top (their newest) and asked Dave (the music guy) to hold the 4-disc set, Join the Dots: B-sides and Rarities (The Cure 1978-2001) for me. My Christmas present to me. ;-)

Going to go take a big old swig of Robitussin and crash for a bit. Zonkers.

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T.G.I.F.N. *

Anybody ever listen to the music of Dizzy X??? I've only heard SupaSaturation (radio version), Los Angeles and Show Me. I'm really liking it. I don't know who Dizzy X is/are but I'm going to be finding out. There are both male and female vocalists and they're awesome.

Any fans of Paul Westerberg? I recommend the Open Season soundtrack which features his music, including Love You in the Fall with fellow ex-Replacement Tommy Stinson on bass. The song made Spin Magazine's November 2006 Songs You Need to Download Now List.

PD went to the dr. today and got some antibiotics and basically a pat on the butt. There's a lot of "this" going around and not a lot you can do aboot it but let it run it's course. She only gave him the abs because he's had it for so long. She didn't need to see me, as it would be "a waste of my time and money." I'm to take OTC cough medicine, Tylenol for pain and keep moist heat on my ribs. So there is that. In the meantime, it feels like there is a gyrating ice pick burrowing into my right lung.

Right now I'm listing to a tune called Hollow of Your Hand by Jeff Black from the album Tin Lily. A great song. I don't know why I and other people still say "album". I think it's a musical snobbery term. Rather a term used by music snobs. I think that's what I meant. Like when we say "vinyl" and shit like that.

I was trying to make a post here without including the following subject which upset me to no end today. I just really didn't want to bring it up cause I can feel myself getting all tense and pissy again. Maybe if I get it off my chest I'll feel better. I will keep it short...

I was taking part in a conversation today with two co-workers, one I know very well and respect highly. The other I don't know quite as well but held (note past tense) in fairly high regard. That is until I asked her why she thought a certain senator from Illinois couldn't be elected President. "Because he's... *lowers voice*... black. . . No. No ... *shaking head vehemently*." She wasn't saying that she thought he would have trouble getting votes. She was saying that No, I will not stand for a Black man in the White House. I am sure that she was aware that I had to pick my jaw up from the floor. I was dumbfounded and speechless and sick in my stomach. I had to just turn and walk away. There was nothing I could have said to this kind of ignorance. I thought getting this out would make me feel better. I was wrong.

* Thank Goodness it's Friday Night
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RANDOMIFICATION

PD has had a terrible cough for almost a month. Two nights ago he (who never complains) complained that his ribs hurt from coughing so much. This isn't terribly newsworthy and certainly not suspicious in any way; unless, of course, you read JuJuBee's post today. PD's cough started within hours of the JuJu's last visit. I successfully fended off the damnable thing (cough) until this past Monday. Nothing but a cough. Yesterday I started getting hoarse and am losing my voice. Today at lunch time I noticed my stomach muscles were sore from coughing. By one o'clock, my ribs on my right side were tender. By two o'clock, I was doubling over from the pain each time I would cough. It's now almost 8pm. Since I got home from work I have been near tears a few times, took a really strong prescription pain reliever and am sitting here now with a heating pad on my side. All I can think of is WTF???

Anyway. Have you ever tried Pumpkin Mousse??? Holy crap it's good. I made Egg Drop soup with chives for dinner; it's one of those things that always makes me feel better. Ok, usually. And you know what really is not good at all? Yellow jellybeans. Bleeaacch.

We had a helluva rainstorm aboot the time I was leaving work tonight. In a matter of minutes the parking lot was covered in muddy brown water and there were huge pools of water in the low spots in the grounds around the facility. Several places I drove through on the way home the water was deep enough to spray up over the car. Now I hear there are flood warnings for our county until 11am tomorrow.

I should work on my poem (limmerick) from yesterday but am not feeling terribly creative. I think the pain pill is kicking in, this screen is beginning to look a bit convex...

I plan to write more aboot the men/women relating thing this weekend. For now, Ta Ta.

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A POEM ABOOT A GIRL AND A BOY...

There once was a lass quite like me
Who knew who she wanted to be.
An oblivious chick
Who cared not a lick
What was rumored (or not) to be.

"They" all said she was fast
and as dark as her past
She'd loved quite a few
(And more, likely, too)
But this new man was her last.

All the townfolk whispered when
He finally kissed her then
They all shook their heads;
Their hearts filled with dread
They thought it was his bitter end.

But this new love was true
(She was sure overdue)
Every man up till then
Was locked in the Pen
Accused of what she'd made them do.

Every man she'd seduced
Had somehow reduced
to catering whims and
kissing her "limbs"
In an effort to catch her unloosed.

She sucked them all dry
Not a tear in her eye
She broke every heart
And then she would part,
Saying, " You loved me, goodbye."

But now here's a man who
Most probably can do
what none of the others
(and none of their brothers)
Ever dreamed she wanted to do.

Just once to be loved
and not pushed or shoved
None of that lust,
Getting left in the dust
Just cuddled or kissed and hugged.

You would think they would marry
And not put off or tarry
But she's head over heels
And he's hoping time heals
And thinking it's just a bit scary

Should he really trust her
(and not try to adjust her)
For her record is bad (and how)
Her virtue was had; and now
His strength he must muster...

I dunno, I kept thinking I could resuscitate this and get it going in the direction I wanted. Needs a lot of work, maybe a project for a rainy day. At any rate, I have to post it now, it's already taken up two night's worth of my posting time allowance. Feel free to critique.

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_____________________
HELLO
MY NAME IS


_____________________

If you find yourself amid a group of strangers in a social setting, say at a wedding reception, and for whatever reason there is no one conducting introductions, will you introduce yourself? I usually will find some kind of remark appropriate for whatever is going on, usually with some degree of humor to kind of gauge the mood of the group and then introduce myself. I have always "tested" new acquaintances in a similar way, just to find out if joking around will be acceptable to that person or persons. I do the same thing with propriety, and then conform to whatever seems acceptable in the situation. I don't know if I said that right but I think you know what I mean. I "feel out" the group and then behave appropriately. (Or not, depending on my mood or level of alcohol injested... *wink*) Following is an example of this, I will try to keep it short.

Quite a few years ago I developed a ganglion cyst on my wrist. My doctor referred me to a surgeon for an examination. When he stalked into the examining room, one look at the man gave me a sense that I would not be joking around in my usual way, not even a little. He was a smallish, bookish-looking man with thick glasses, not much chin, a receding hairline, heavy brows, and a pasty pale complexion and a stern, no-nonsense expression. He looked to be aboot sixty and stood poker straight and seemed to be completely stiff. He held my chart in the crook of his arm much as a student might carry a textbook. He introduced himself; I, myself and we shook hands. Not terribly firm but being a woman, I rarely receive firm handshakes. I think most men are not sure how much strength to exert when shaking a woman's hand. I wish they would get over that. I think I surprise some men with the firmness of my own. Handshake. Anyway...
He examined my wrist, asked numerous questions which I answered respectfully. He told me my options for treatment and I told him that I would like some time to decide how I wished to have it treated or removed, whatever. We agreed that I would schedule another appointment when I had made up my mind. He had never smiled. He picked up my file with one hand, shook my hand with his other and turned to leave. He had one hand on the doorknob when I said, "Excuse me, Doctor. I have one more question. What causes these cysts?" His face relaxed into an easy grin. "In this case, I would have to say high intelligence and good looks." He winked and closed the door behind him.

Blew me away. Anyway, the cyst went away on it's own.

The last medical procedure he did for me was a colonoscopy. Just before I lost "awareness," I remember asking him if I could have another pillow under my shoulder. "What kind of insurance do you have?" I told him and he leaned over and said "Sorry kid, they only cover one pillow." I think I had three when I woke up...

"Jonathan," as he allowed me to call him, became my surgeon of choice for many years until he (regretfully for me) retired and moved out West. Where I'm sure he's still wearing this get-up, as he was the day I hugged him and wished him all the best in his retirement. I still miss him.

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WHAT'S IN A BRAIN???

My Brain is 73% Female,
27% Male

My brain leans female
I think with my heart,
not my head
Sweet and considerate,
I am a giver
But I'm tough enough
not to let anyone take
advantage of me!

What Gender Is Your Brain?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatgenderisyourbrainquiz

RELATING...

I have spent some time this past week talking to different people aboot how they relate to the opposite sex. Have gotten some very interesting replies. And extremely different answers depending on who I might be talking to. When I was getting too much dialogue to chronicle here, I narrowed down my question to this: "Imagine you are at a social event and meeting new people. How do you relate differently to meeting a man versus meeting a woman for the first time?" The most interesting reply I got entailed a description of how a man related to another man when meeting the first time. It went something like this: "When I shake another man's hand I am establishing my strength with him, showing him that basically, I am to be reckoned with, not to be messed with. Looking him straight in the eyes is another way to assert myself." This kind of reminded me of the way two dogs "sniff each other out"... This same man claims that the first time he meets a woman (and this is in my words, not his which were rather blunt) he basically is greeting her based on the possibility that he might, at some point, gain entry to a certain part of her attire. This creeped me out a little bit, but I guess it's just an illustration of how different people relate to the opposite sex.
I spoke to an Oriental gentleman (and I only mention this because I think that cultural differences definitely affect how people relate to each other) claimed that when meeting a person for the first time, regardless of gender, the occasion is all aboot honor and respect. The handshake is to be firm but not intimidating in any way. A man, out of respect, ONLY extends his hand to a woman if she makes the first move. He went on to explain the frustrations that men face when relating to a woman who is or is not "liberated," for example, worrying that he might insult a woman by offering to open a door or light her cigarette.
A woman I spoke with on the subject brought up an interesting point. She noted that before she was married she related to men in a whole different way. More openly, to be specific. Now that she is married, she's required to respond in a different, less forward manner.
After giving this a fair amount of thought I realize that this is a complicated subject and could be discussed for hours on end. I will write aboot it now and then. For now, I will wait and see if my Readers have any input to contribute... My own way of relating will take up a post in itself.

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I WANNA GO SOMEWHERE ELSE...

It seems that Summer is over and Fall is in danger of being
taken over by some Ol' Man whose name starts with a W.
Which we will not utter here. Same goes for that stuff that
starts with an S that is falling in Buffalo NY today. I have that on good authority from someone who lives there. But I am forever the optimist and I am looking forward to some lovely Indian Summer days here in my neck of the woods, which incidentally is/are sporting some beautiful colors these days. There is a huge maple tree across my street that is the color of a fiery reddish-orange tomato. What's cool aboot that tree is that even on a gloomy rainy day like yesterday, it lights up the whole neighborhood. But as cool as it is, I'd still rather jump in the car and head off toward someplace warm and sunny and just bask in the sun and not come back until Indian Summer hits PA. Then, when it's over, I'll be wanting to jump back in the car again and head out. I would love to be happy here with the cold weather setting in, but I jus' cawn't dew it, Captain!!!
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CAUSE AND EFFECT

Rain.
Frizzy hair.
Grocery shopping.
It's gonna be a shitty night. :-P

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(you didn't think that was going to be a haiku, did you???)

ALMOST FAMOUS

(One of my favorite movies, by the way... Click title for info, click here for trailer)

Although I'm anxious to write the post aboot how men and women relate to each other, I'm putting it on hold until the weekend so that I can give it more thought and devote more time to it. I also want to talk to a couple of people and ask them their observations on the topic. The more I think aboot it, the more interesting it is becoming to me. I didn't realize how differently I, myself, communicate with the two genders. Ok, so we'll get back to that later.

In the interim, let me ask you this, Reader. Have you experinced your (ala Andy Warhol) "Fifteen minutes of fame?" I like to think that my golden minutes are still ahead of me but I'm afraid that maybe I blew them in third grade. That was when Joey Francemore and I hosted our class program aboot Stephen Collins Foster on our town's local radio station. The class sang a dozen or so songs by Foster and Joey and I took turns announcing the song titles and a little bit of history in between songs. An article outlining the show also appeared in our local newspaper, the Progress. I have a yellowed copy of it somewhere...

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BORINGEST POST EVER

I found French Vanilla and Cappucino flavor cotton candy. Yumm-eee. It was in the video store. I will be going back there...

I don't have anything really to report. Not a real happening weekend. Still getting caught up from the short night shift days. My house is looking pretty good though. And my laundry and dishes are caught up. Life is good. Now if I only had one more day of the weekend so I could relax and enjoy it, I would be thrilled.

I'm thinking of doing a post soon on my observations of how men and women relate to each other. So start thinking aboot that. Might make for some interesting back-and-forth. I might have to rely heavily on my few female readers to offer some input (so I don't get ganged up on.)
In the meantime, brush up on your Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars.

K. Talk to y'all a li'l bit later. Tomorrow when you're at work slaving away, think of all those slackin' Canucks at home, celebrating Thanksgiving on the wrong day of the wrong month...
I am SOOO kidding guys, don't want to provoke an international incident over a turkey! Happy Thanksgiving to our "Friends Up There" !!! :-)))

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DANA T...

If you're reading this, please email me. I'm sorry I missed your birthday! Hope it was great. I have something to share with you. I miss you. xxoo

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AS A FAVOR TO POOPY DO...


My husband is irritated, on the verge of devastated if something is not done. The SciFi Channel is cancelling his favorite show, Star Gate SG-1. They are cancelling the show after 10 years. It has been the longest running show on the SciFi Channel. The show has boosted their ratings to almost number 1. Whether or not you are a fan/viewer, as a favor to him, maybe you could go on this site and encourage the network not to cancel the show. Would make my life more pleasant also, as I would not have to constantly be serving up the cheese to go with the whine. ;-) ... As it is, I'm being pressured to adhere to the bumper of my car, a lovely sticker proclaiming my support of the show. Which I have never watched in my life... But I am going to pretend otherwise and go on the site and ask them for 10 more years of the thing. Thank you for doing the same if you are so inclined :-)

I am now going to enjoy this bee-autiful day by hanging my freshly-washed sheets on the clothesline so that I may sleep tonight amid the rapturous and wonderful scent of fresh, fresh Autumn sunshine air. I'm sure it will set the stage for some glorious dreaming.

And to all my Canadian homeys, Have a Wonderful Thanksgiving Weekend. Give thanks for me for friends like you :-)

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QUICKIE POST

According to my SiteMeter, someone has been visiting me from Oak Bluffs the past couple of days. Please, if you read this, mail me (click on my profile page for my addy). I fell in love with that place in more ways than one and I would LOVE to talk to someone who lives there. So, please do!

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SHAAAAAA-ZAM !!!

You guys gave me some really good answers. I had decided before this what my answer would be and then after extensive thinking for, oh, I don't know, a few minutes, I changed my mind. (Jeff, that's a woman's perogative. Pay close attention, accept it, and then just get over it.)
My initial answer was the same as Jojo's, but with a twist. I thought I might like to be able to read people's minds but also to be able to control their thinking. But I decided I am not intelligent enough to always know the best direction to sway their minds. I would end up probly just causing a huge ball of chaos in the world, much like it is in reality. The difference would be that people would have no idea why they were thinking what they were. Wait. Maybe that's not such a big difference after all.
So then I started thinking what kind of power would really benefit mankind. I looked around me, at the people I know, the people I love and just people in general and they all had one thing in common that I knew they might not miss if someone (me) had the power to eradicate that commonality. (Is that a word? I think so, it sounds good.) If I could have a superpower, I would very much like to be able to take away pain. Any kind of pain. Heartache, arthritis, migraine, labor pain, whatever. I realize that God gave us pain for a reason. If you touch a hot stove, and it hurts, you know not to touch it again because you will get burned. But think of, for instance, a child who was caught in a housefire or a car accident and has suffered third-degree burns over 60% of his/her body. That child should not have to suffer with that kind of pain.
A victim of a drunk driver might be injured to the point where he or she is not able to work and might lose a house, etc., etc. and feel the pain of finding him or herself homeless. That is not fair.
These sorts of circumstances could be made bearable if someone had the power to vanquish pain.
Now, I haven't decided what to do with that pain, I'm not sure I would be willing to accept it as my own. (Remember the movie, "Powder" about the albino boy?) It might be cool to re-channel it into some kind of positive energy. Maybe I'd regenerate it into some kind of cheap, efficient fuel. Or food for the hungry. Or energy for JuJu. Or X-rays for Simon the Peeping Tom. I'm also not quite sure I would be comfortable with the awesome responsibility to decide who did and didn't deserve to have their pain taken away. And would it be random, chosen by lottery, first-come, first-served??? Maybe I would take away a closet masochist's pain and piss them off. That would not be cool...
But anyway, that was interesting. Thanks for contributing.

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PUT ON YOUR THINKING CAPS...

I'm going to pose a question to you today. I will post my answer tomorrow because I don't want to influence any of your answers in any way. I think this might be interesting, kind of a little peek into your personalities.

"What 'super power' would you like to have and why?"

By "super power" I mean a strength or talent you might like to have that humans don't normally posess. The sky's the limit. Use your imaginations. Collective imaginations, rather. The only person I know who has more than one imagination is my eldest grandchild. He could sell off a few and still be in downtown Jupiter fighting off quornks with one hand tied behind his back on a unicycle whistling "Old MacDonald" and reading a newspaper backwards. All in his head, of course. (where the hell did that come from???) I'm truly sorry for that. Let's just say my grandson has a great imagination and leave it at that...

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CHORES

Are. Still. Not. Finished. This is where my state of mind dwells lately. And my insides, too.

And I have to get up at 4:30 am tomorrow.

Goodnight.

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HI KIDS!!!

"It was so nice of you to come over, but you see, Linda is behind on her chores and won't be coming out to play today. If you come back tomorrow, I think she will be able to play. I will tell her you stopped by and if you'd like, you can leave her a message and I will be sure that she gets it. Simon, dear, please don't tease the dog. He's liable to nip at you. And Jeff honey, what happened to your knee? Linda kicked you? Heavens, dear boy, I will certainly have a word with Linda aboot that. She owes you an apology. Hello, Tooners, how are you sweetie? You wanted to play Barbies? Well, I'm sure Linda would love that but you will have to wait for another time. I'm sure you understand. TC, please don't walk through my flowerbed, thank you. Jenny and Dana, don't the two of you look adorable today??? And Feanor, would you please watch your language in front of the other kids? Oh, Hazel, would you please ask your mother to call me when she has a free moment? Thanks, honey. Don, sweetheart, please don't leave your bike on the driveway behind my car again...
Ok, kids, run along now, I will tell Linda that you were all here and I'm sure she's sorry she missed you. Oh, heavens, Mark, is that you? For goodness sake, you are growing into such a handsome young man. And the rest of you kids, you'll have to come around more often so I can learn your names. Next time we'll have Kool Aid and cookies! Bye, now." *waves absently and closes (and locks) door*

Simon to Jeff: "Geeze man, why did you tell Linda's old lady that she kicked you? She will for real when she finds out you lied."
Jeff to Simon: "I'm not lyin' man, she really did. When I asked her if she liked you..."

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SUNDAY MORNING COMIN' DOWN...

Woke up this morning with one of those "dream hangovers"... you know, you just had a dream and you're feeling the after-effects of it but you can't remember the dream. This was a good dream, obviously, because I feel all positive and peaceful. But, damn! I can't remember it. I keep having little snippets flash through my mind but I can't quite grab one long enough for a clue. I hate when this happens, I want to know what the dream was!!! Anyway...

I put on my most substantial robe cause it's nippy outside, made my coffee and ventured out to the back porch to enjoy a late-in-the-season morning ritual that I will miss like hurricanes when it gets absolutely too cold to even think aboot morning coffee on the porch. It's not really uncomfortably cool out there but had I not been so determined, I wouldn't have considered spending more than a couple of minutes out there.

So I'm sitting there sipping and planning out my day in my head and I realized that not only is there no sunshine at all to speak of, I also don't hear any birds singing. Not even chirping. It was a weird, tomb-like silence. Almost like a vacuum. The only sound I heard was the neighbors' fountain splashing. I'm feeling a little perplexed at this point when I notice a spider riding a strand of web down to the porch floor, hanging from a plant in a basket that I have hung from the porch ceiling. It's one of those dark, spindly spiders that remind me of a scorpion. I made a mental note not to walk close to it when I go back in the house. Then I'm distracted by movement out of the corner of my eye. It's a big old bluejay who plopped himself down on the corner of the garage roof. He seems to be glaring at me like I'm invading his territory or something. He starts squawking at me for all he's worth. Dammit, I was here first, I pay the bills here, its MY Sunday morning. You can bite me and get lost, birdie. Stupid fowl... He kept that up for a few minutes and then jumped over to the sugar maple and glared at me some more in the midst of the leaves raining down. Squawked a few more times and decided I wasn't leaving or even a threat, I guess, and took off to go bother some other unsuspecting coffee-drinker on some other porch. The spider is on his way back up, my coffee is aboot gone and I think I will go back inside. It is then that I notice I must have bumped the lock on the screen door and realize that, luckily, it hadn't latched or I would have been locked out in my pjs with cold coffee and Lord knows how long it would be until PD would wake up and wonder where the hell I was... Close one. Thank you, Jesus ;-)

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