BAD NIGHT (or a piece of it anyway...)

I just spent the most annoying ten minutes on my back porch. Just went out for a schmoke. It's dark. That's fine, I like dark. It's buggy. That's not, I hate buggy. The kids from the house behind us are on the trampoline, bouncing and yelling. It's like ree, ree, ree, HAW! HAW! HAW! ree, ree, ree, really annoying when you're liking to have some peace and quiet. There's a graduation party down the street and they're blasting Ozzy or some damn thing. There's someone in the neighborhood throwing horseshoes and every minute or so theres a CLANG. As soon as I sat down a big ol' honking motorcycle started up and blasted me outta my gourd. There's one of those little wee jumping spiders that lives in the door jamb and I walked through a web on my way back inside where it's peaceful... GAH. So much for sitting on my porch...

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453. Realizing that strangers watched you trying to push open a door that clearly reads PULL.