WE'RE COMIN' OUT

After a "grandkids" weekend, let me tell you I know a little more about Super Heroes than I ever had a good reason to. Namely Batman who I always thought was a bit gay, hanging out in a cave with the femininely named "Robin", both in tights and speaking in rather gruff voices which sounded to me like they were trying too hard. Don't get me wrong, I love gay people just like I love everybody else. I'm just questioning the rationale of putting them in the category of Super Heroes. But anyway, that got me thinking. That's your cue, Reader, to put on your thinking cap. If I could be (or even wanted to be) a Super Hero(ine), what would I look like, what would my name be and what special powers would set me apart from the masses? This is your assignment for tonight or tomorrow if you need to think about it and come back.

Well, obviously since I am a Super Heroine, I am a ro-busty Amazon (not to be confused with the shopper's mecca) with a waistline the same circumference as my neck. My legs are three times the length of yours and start right under my teeny rib cage. I've got gobs and gobs of glossy blue-black hair that flies like ravens around my pretty little head. You would die to have my cheekbones or to get lost in my dreamy, deep, ocean-green-pools where my eyes should be. And that teeny snip of a turned up nose crinkles ever-so demurely when I flash my pearly white teeth framed by luscious red Angelinalips. I think my name will be Night Raven. Ok, it's lame.

Let me see now. Getting dressed is the fun part. Think I'll go with a black-on-black look. The shiny black boots with stilletto heels grace the tops of my thighs. I think I'll go with a covered bodice which rises up to meet a thick black choker emblazoned with golden studs around my neck. A belt that matches and measures about twelve inches girds my waist. Those same golden studs bedeck the long black gloves I wear that reach almost to my shoulders and also on the band I wear around my forehead. Woo Hoo, whaddya think? I'm torn between an itty-bitty little pleated skirt or plain boy-shorts. Think I'll go for the skirt. After all, comfort, I believe, is in the forefront of every Super Heroine's mind when she is fighting Evil Forces. A cape, maybe, depending on the weather. I'm thinking a nice ebony ermine.

I will jump tall buildings in a single bound. I will soar into the sky at the speed of light and rescue men, women and children alike from perils too perilous to mention here. I will rescue scared little puppies from storm drains and kitties from tall trees. But what I really want to do is this: I want to make men beg for mercy at my feet.

That's all for tonight. Morning comes so quickly.

Have a good one. ;-)