TODAY'S LESSON IS...

...this. Keep your legs out of places they shouldn't be. Like between the dashboard of your car and the car door. No, I don't know how I did it but it hurts like a sonofabitch. My knee. My legs are too long. A normal person couldn't get their knee up there in the first place and I don't know why mine was there. I was leaving work, in a hurry as usual and shut the door (or tried to) on my knee which was up past the steering wheel, between the dashboard and the freakin' door. That will leave a mark I bet...

This reminds me of something that happened to me the night of my first date after my first husband and I um, parted. The guy called me the night of our date to tell me he would be late or early or horny or something, I forget. Anyway, I had just stepped out of the shower and was in a towel when I answered the phone. We had gotten to talking and I toweled off and started to dress while I was still on the phone. We finished our conversation and I hung the phone up (the old kind with an actual cord). I walked away and the phone crashed to the floor because the cord had been through the leg of my panties. D-oh.

I've come close to falling out of chairs because I tend to cross my legs and then wrap the upper leg around the lower leg and crook my foot around my other ankle. If for any reason you have to get up in a hurry, sometimes it takes a minute or two to get untangled... And I can't count the times I've had to crawl under tables in restaurants to retrieve a shoe. I take them off lots of times and they end up sometimes farther away from my feet than I can reach.

That's enough aboot my legs. I think I'm going to go put some ice on my knee.