TORTURE

Two great people sent me cards today offering support and congratulations in the cessation of my smoking. Both were really great, funny cards; one from my best work friend Cindy, the other from JuJu. Thanks again, both of you. Cindy reminded me that today marks one month since my quit day, which was Christmas. The time has actually gone fairly fast. I still want one. Right this minute would be Wonderful. But dwelling on it isn't going to help me and will only bore you. If you aren't a smoker, DO NOT EVER START. It's that simple. If you do, I will be glad to help you saw off your arm.

I was getting a little creeped out at work today. Let me preface this by saying that I do not normally listen to the radio at work. Just the past two days I have tuned into BOB-FM. Today, weirdly enough, Bob kept playing songs that I'd mentioned in my blog over the past couple days. Weird, firstly because I hardly ever listen to the radio like I said. Weird secondly, because there are so many freaking songs in the world that Bob could be playing. You see I have this theory that a certain communications company in our area has been sucking all of our personal information out of our computers and cell phones and every other device capable of storing information. I'm pretty sure it's all ending up somewhere that Dubya has access to, or even more frightening, people who have an idea of what to do with that information. And can read. Anyway, if you're ever in the neighborhood, stop by. I'll pour you a glass of something cold or a cup of something hot and I'll tell you all the instances and observations which lead me to believe what I do. I won't write it here or call you on the phone about it. It has to be face-to-face.

So anyway, I'm wondering how Bob got a hold of my favorite dance tunes. And how will this information be used against me? Oh lord, what if they convince Google... God help us.

Enough paranoia for one day. Do you spend as much time filtering every day as I do? I turn on the news in the morning to see the weather forecast, mostly to know what to wear. I turn the nasty news down until the weather comes on. Then I turn it off when the weather is over. I either listen to cds in the car or BOB-FM which has neither a dj nor news broadcasts. When I get to work, depending on what I'm doing or who's around, I'll put my headphones on and crank the music to block out the gossip/what's on sale/who's on first. That continues throughout the work day. Repeat in the car for the ride home; cds or BOB. Seems like all day I'm blocking out. I rarely watch TV cause I can't stand being made to feel the way TV makes one feel. I come on here at some point and thank my lucky stars for pop-up blockers. That's all I have to say about that.

I'm tired. I must have let too much in today. Or blocked too much out?

STHTTMMS: Went for a walk after dinner. Just to the mailbox and back. Was dark and snowing. Reminded me of when I was little. Yeah, I guess I went for a lot of walks in the dark in the snow when I was little.

GSL: "We skipped the light fandango/ turned cartwheels 'cross the floor." from A Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum (1967) Keith Reid who wrote the lyrics, contends that the song is about an intense love affair. The couple dances and drinks and loves but ultimately the love dissolves. Others believe the entire song is about a man who dies from an overdose of a drug he's addicted to. A third interpretation is that its simply about finding one's self getting well and truly drunk.

Hmmm. I prefer Interp #3. The other too are just too real. *block out*

RQ: (Relevant to my life, not necessarily this post...) "I would be curious to discover who it is to whom one writes in a diary. Possibly to some mysterious personification of one's own identity."

- Beatrice Webb