Friday, April 14, 2006

LONG BLACK VEIL
Pay no attention to the title of the post. It means nothing worth explaining. I really had to scrape the bottom of the barrel for this one. Paul, Help Me Out Here, Man!
I decided to lighten things up a bit here today, the Holiday weekend coming and all. Didn't want to get all heavy on you and then expect you to go out and celebrate with church and jelly beans and chocolate bunnies.
So, last night, er- this morning, PD and I had just settled down on the couch with a big mess of salsa and chips for a night, morning rather, of good clean entertainment, courtesy of Mr. Lewis "F---ing Hilarious" Black. If for some reason you are not familiar with this man's comedy, change that right now. Unless you might be offended by foul language. On his On Broadway show, especially. Anyway, we are watching and laughing and watching and laughing and all of a sudden everything goes black. Not Lewis Black (haw haw) just black. The power went off. This was sometime after 2 am.
So PD and I did that thing you do when the power goes off. He rounded up all the flashlights and I, the candles. Why, what were you thinking? He checked all the surge protectors, put new batteries in one flashlight and I proceeded to put candles here, there and everywhere. In no time, our house smelled like a garden of earthly delights. Kitchen, mmmm, pumpkin spice. Diningroom, I forget. Livingroom smelled of either Clean Cotton or Romance (AromaScents) depending on which side of the room you were in. On? Whatever. The front hall was all Hazelnutty. Upstairs we had Fresh Linen in the bath and Moonlight Path in the hall. Basement was smellin' like some kind of sickening cake icing that Poop likes but makes me nauseous.
So PD decides to shower. When he's finished and I still haven't found gainful employment, er, I mean, something interesting to do by candlelight at 3 am, I decide to shower also. Which was really fun and kind of romantic until, after having gotten all warm and steamy, mistook the shower knob for the hot water knob, turned it off and blasted myself with mega-pulsing streams of ice-cold water. "Shit!" I think was my response. So then I don my new beautiful new 100% silk Malijialai robe from China that my sister and her BF gave me for my birthday. (I've been meaning to tell you aboot it. ) It's midnight blue with shiny gold Oriental pictures of, um, stuff on it and it feels like, like, unimaginably wonderful on. Maybe I'll post a pic of it one day.
So then, wandering from room to room, scent to scent, rooms all flickering and warm and romantic like, and I think, gee, power outages are almost as fun as cooking dinner. (previous post) I'm looking for PD to see if he'll help me put some lotion on. No ulterior motive here, of course. I finally find him in the dining room and ask if he'd like to help me "keep my skin soft and supple" or some lame thing. Turns out, no, he wouldn't. Oh well, I have two hands. So I retreat to the living room (incidentally on the Romance side) and proceed to keep my skin soft and supple. So then Poop must have been pooped, he went to bed. I would have loved to myself but my hair was dripping wet and if there is One Thing I Cannot Do, it's to go to bed with wet hair. After awhile though, I had no choice. It's 9 am now and you should see my hair!!! Hahahahaha. Hahahaha. Haha. Ha.
Update: Power came back on between 6 and 8 am, went to tan and get my haircut. It looks way better now at noon. Time to go adjust the time on aboot 14 clocks/radios/VCRs/etc. :-Þ

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

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1:55 AM EDT  
Blogger The Sassy Orange said...

The ex and I had tix to see Lewis Black in New Hampshire once. Was going to be a romantic getaway for us - but we broke up before it. And I couldn't give those tickets away - come on - NH in September??? Ah well.

6:28 AM EDT  

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