NEVER FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE III
Before I commence with my rambling, you need to go over to see Simon and check out his wonderful news.
In additon to the other advantages of being my age and discovering all these new fun things aboot me, I'm finding that the clarity of my thinking is improved. I attribute that to the fact that more things are making sense to me as I continue to look at life in new ways. I am one of those people who cannot learn or retain something unless it does make perfect sense to me. With this awareness I seem to be able better to grasp the whole picture and, wasting less time trying to figure out what I'm seeing, I'm more apt to appreciate and enjoy things for what they are. For example: people. When I meet new people I like to tear them apart and analyze them in my head. I look to see where they've come from (and I don't necessarily mean geographically) and how that affects who they are. Things like family life, birth order, circumstances that have helped build their character. It makes me appreciate them more or on the other hand, maybe not take them so seriously. It's kind of my way of cutting through the crap. It frees me up to just enjoy a person's personality and what they have to contribute. I think I am also more accepting of faults and reputations that might cloud other's perceptions of people. I never have been one to classify people into categories. We're all human. Some of us have been luckier than others, some have had more opportunities. You can't look at someone on the street or even everyday at the office and know the kinds of struggles and obstacles they have had to overcome. With this appreciation of others also comes empathy, which is, and always has been, a blessing and a curse for me. I'm learning to see it as more of a gift these days.
Speaking of gifts, I want to share something a friend had said to me one day that really stuck with me. He feels that our talents are gifts from God that we can use to amuse ourselves. That's exactly what they are but I had never looked at it quite like that... I am becoming more and more aware of the need to utilize my gifts, if not just to amuse myself, then to merely not be wasting them.
Which brings me to another new revelation, if you will. I feel this profound sense of urgency. It's not necessarily a good feeling but I'm working on ways to use it to my advantage. I'm not thinking it's so much connected with menopause as it is simply with getting older. I'm terrified of missing something. I feel like I only have an alloted amount of time left and need to cram everything I can into that time frame. Sometimes it sneaks up and smacks me in the back of the head. Sometimes it puts its grimy paws around my throat and squeezes until I can't breathe. It reminds me of all the time that I've wasted over the years and makes me look long and hard at myself. It reminds me that maybe that skirt is a little too short and needs to be donated to the Goodwill. It says to me "You gotta put more cash into your retirement account! Now!" In general, it's a royal pain in the ass. But sometimes it's my friend. Like just this very moment when it forced me to look up its/it's in the dictionary. I'm 10 days short of 50 and should know by now which is which. So now I know... And it makes sense so I will remember; the one with the apostrophe is the contraction. Duh. I feel stupid now but is that going to bother me? Nah. I'm almost 50 and I'm F---ing Fearless! (How was that for alliteration, Simon?)
I need one more paragraph and then I think "I Never Felt Like This Before" will be complete. There is another facet of my present life that has given me oodles of gratification, amusement, insight and self-confidence. That is this, here. The place I come to talk and share with you. The place that awards me a voice. Whether it is to vent or brag or pour my heart out, whatever. And I feel heard and accepted and when you feel the need to comment, validated. That might not seem like a big deal to a lot of people but it is to me. I know I come off like a smart ass a lot of the time and I bitch and whine and condemn and make fun. That's usually just for affect. I'm really a softie and my intentions are (usually!) always good. I can't believe I tole you that and I'll never reference it again. This will be deleted out if you come on here tomorrow!!! But seriously, it makes me feel way good that you come here. I assume that it is because you care what I have to say.
"Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force." - Dorothy Sayers
Before I commence with my rambling, you need to go over to see Simon and check out his wonderful news.
In additon to the other advantages of being my age and discovering all these new fun things aboot me, I'm finding that the clarity of my thinking is improved. I attribute that to the fact that more things are making sense to me as I continue to look at life in new ways. I am one of those people who cannot learn or retain something unless it does make perfect sense to me. With this awareness I seem to be able better to grasp the whole picture and, wasting less time trying to figure out what I'm seeing, I'm more apt to appreciate and enjoy things for what they are. For example: people. When I meet new people I like to tear them apart and analyze them in my head. I look to see where they've come from (and I don't necessarily mean geographically) and how that affects who they are. Things like family life, birth order, circumstances that have helped build their character. It makes me appreciate them more or on the other hand, maybe not take them so seriously. It's kind of my way of cutting through the crap. It frees me up to just enjoy a person's personality and what they have to contribute. I think I am also more accepting of faults and reputations that might cloud other's perceptions of people. I never have been one to classify people into categories. We're all human. Some of us have been luckier than others, some have had more opportunities. You can't look at someone on the street or even everyday at the office and know the kinds of struggles and obstacles they have had to overcome. With this appreciation of others also comes empathy, which is, and always has been, a blessing and a curse for me. I'm learning to see it as more of a gift these days.
Speaking of gifts, I want to share something a friend had said to me one day that really stuck with me. He feels that our talents are gifts from God that we can use to amuse ourselves. That's exactly what they are but I had never looked at it quite like that... I am becoming more and more aware of the need to utilize my gifts, if not just to amuse myself, then to merely not be wasting them.
Which brings me to another new revelation, if you will. I feel this profound sense of urgency. It's not necessarily a good feeling but I'm working on ways to use it to my advantage. I'm not thinking it's so much connected with menopause as it is simply with getting older. I'm terrified of missing something. I feel like I only have an alloted amount of time left and need to cram everything I can into that time frame. Sometimes it sneaks up and smacks me in the back of the head. Sometimes it puts its grimy paws around my throat and squeezes until I can't breathe. It reminds me of all the time that I've wasted over the years and makes me look long and hard at myself. It reminds me that maybe that skirt is a little too short and needs to be donated to the Goodwill. It says to me "You gotta put more cash into your retirement account! Now!" In general, it's a royal pain in the ass. But sometimes it's my friend. Like just this very moment when it forced me to look up its/it's in the dictionary. I'm 10 days short of 50 and should know by now which is which. So now I know... And it makes sense so I will remember; the one with the apostrophe is the contraction. Duh. I feel stupid now but is that going to bother me? Nah. I'm almost 50 and I'm F---ing Fearless! (How was that for alliteration, Simon?)
I need one more paragraph and then I think "I Never Felt Like This Before" will be complete. There is another facet of my present life that has given me oodles of gratification, amusement, insight and self-confidence. That is this, here. The place I come to talk and share with you. The place that awards me a voice. Whether it is to vent or brag or pour my heart out, whatever. And I feel heard and accepted and when you feel the need to comment, validated. That might not seem like a big deal to a lot of people but it is to me. I know I come off like a smart ass a lot of the time and I bitch and whine and condemn and make fun. That's usually just for affect. I'm really a softie and my intentions are (usually!) always good. I can't believe I tole you that and I'll never reference it again. This will be deleted out if you come on here tomorrow!!! But seriously, it makes me feel way good that you come here. I assume that it is because you care what I have to say.
"Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force." - Dorothy Sayers
posted by One Wink at a Time at 6:04 AM
3 Comments:
Just when you think you have someone figured out they drop a bomb like that one on ya. :-)
Nice colors. Keep up the good work. thnx!
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Hey what a great site keep up the work its excellent.
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