MAMADADDYDID

In case some of you have not been with me from the start, I title my posts using song titles from the band The Replacements. Also songs from ex-band members Paul Westerberg and Tommy Stinson. Aside from U2 (and very possibly a newer Canadian band called Arcade Fire) the Replacements are about my favorite bend, ever. Sometimes the titles take some stretching to make sense (like today for example) but I'm stubborn and refuse to quit until I've used up all their song titles. It won't be too long until I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel. Does "barrel" have one l or two? If you're new here, you also don't know that for some reason, my computer reads "spellchecker" as a pop-up, so I'm on my own in the spelling department. If I have time, I use the dictionary that's always at my desk. More often than not, I wing it. < where did that expression come from? If you see something in bold lettering, it's a suggestion for leaving a comment. If you are new here, I suggest you go back to the beginning and start. Why did I start so much sheet that needs e'splainin', Lucy?

Today was just another in a long line of emotionally draining days that seem to be the norm for me lately. I will try to explain quickly since I keep seeing this flashing light in my right peripheral vision and that might mean a migraine and in that case I will cry which would also come under the heading of "the norm for me lately". Yeah, I'm a mess. I am considering starting smoking again, and no, I did not type that in bold lettering which means it is not a suggestion for a subject for you to comment on, although I have a strong feeling I'll hear about it from everybody but Mike B., only because we've already discussed the subject at great length on numerous occasions. You would be better to lecture me on the subject of run-on sentences which I seem to be over-using (one word or hyphenated?) at great length today. That all said, back to the subject at hand.

What I mostly did today was to compose a letter to my mother, with whom I have not spoken since the day after Christmas. I won't go into details but will tell you that she and I have been having problems (little ones) since my father died in 1998. My parents were of the school of thought that if you ignore most bothersome issues, they will go away. Well, I learned early in my adult life out in the world that if you don't deal with bothersome issues, they grow bigger and bigger until you can no longer sweep them under the rug without some major trippage occurring. Evidently me mum never learned the lesson. So although the problems have been occurring all this time, they've not been handled and so they are huge now and it all culminated here with all the family around on the day after Christmas. At first I couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone because I had just stopped smoking and it seemed too tall an order. Then, it was another excuse. It's been a month now and I can't run any more. But I didn't have the balls to do it face to face, so I've written her a letter, yes a lo-o-o-ng one, expressing my concerns and inviting her to open up and have a discussion with me to find some solutions.

Nothing like airing the family laundry on the old blog, eh.

Anyway, that was most of my day. It's past my bedtime, we'll have to do without the smiles and song and quote tonight. Thanks for being such an understanding crew. What would I do without you?

Dana, sweetheart, I will get to that dream soon, I promise. Thanks for patience.