YESTERDAY (cont.)

I met Rick when I was a senior in High School. I was "dating" a sophmore who was sweet and cute, despite his lack of a driver's license... Rick was his best friend. Rick was also sweet and older and not only had his driver's license but a hot Mach I to boot. He was as good a friend as he was a chauffeur ;-) He was the kind of guy who would do anything for anybody, nice as they come. I remember him being a terrific tennis player. He lived with his parents at the time and when I met up with him again last year after not having seen him since, oh, I don't know-aboot 1970-something, he still lived in the same house. Both his parents had since died and he'd taken care of both of them when they developed health problems later in their lives. He'd been so devoted to taking care of his family that he basically put his own life on hold and, as a result, had never married or had children.

One evening last year aboot this time, PD and I were having dinner in a restaurant. While we were waiting for our food I was looking around at people and across the way I noticed someone who vaguely reminded me of Rick. Knowing how much time had passed, I tried to imagine what he might look like. I decided this man looked much too old to be my old friend. Besides that, he seemed to be handicapped. Over the course of time waiting for our food, I kept finding myself watching this poor man trying to eat his food and as the time passed, I suspected that it might indeed, be him. Before long I was convinced that it was and excused myself from our table and approached him. By the time I reached him, there was no doubt in my mind that this bent and crippled man was my dear old friend. He looked up at me and for a second, didn't know who I was. By this time, my eyes were welled-up with tears. I said "Rick." He said, "Linda?" I nodded. He put his fork down and reached toward me with his good arm. "Oh my God" he said and began to cry. When I hugged him, he returned a hearty, one-armed squeeze.

Rick's younger brother was sitting across from him in the booth and I introduced myself. He had been a mere boy the last time I'd seen him and I knew he wouldn't have remembered me. He slid over and motioned for me to sit. I motioned to PD to let him know I'd be a few minutes and sat there while Rick and I quickly caught up on how he came to be in the condition that kept me from recognizing him right away. He had developed diabetes, had several strokes and lost most of the use of one side of his body. His face drooped a bit on one side and it was difficult to understand some of his speech but his sunny disposition still shone through, despite all his problems. To make a long story short, we exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch.

I have sent cards to Rick on each holiday since then and each time he has called to thank me cheerfully and ask about the family and what was new. The Thanksgiving card I sent was not acknowledged but I attributed it to the business (busy-ness?) of this time of year. I mailed a Christmas card to him on Friday. Yesterday when I came home from work, PD reported that Rick had called and hoped I would call him back. So I did.

He thanked me for the card and I asked him how he'd been feeling. He told me that he was having laser surgery on his eye today. It would be the 4th surgery he's had on the same eye. I understand that when his sugar level gets too high, it causes hemorrhages and blindness in his eye. They must go in and cauterize to stop the bleeding. He sounded apprehensive so I reassured him as much as I could and decided to move on to a more cheerful topic and asked him how his Christmas plans were shaping up. He started to cry. I was totally not prepared. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me that he didn't want to have Christmas and was tired and didn't care to live any longer. He has no friends and no one to care about him. Gulp. What in the hell do you say to someone who confesses to you that they want to die? I spent the next hour or so talking to him, reaching far into my heart and brain to find something, anything, to say to him to convince him otherwise. Have you ever tried to do that??? Let me tell you that I am completely unqualified medically, socially, spiritually, whatever... to deal with a situation like this. He did at one point, tell me that he'd talked to his Priest and promised he wouldn't hurt himself and he sounded sincere. At a point when I was nearing emotional exhaustion, failing to convince him he needed to talk to a professional, I asked him to allow me to call him today and see how the surgery went. He said he'd appreciate that but it wasn't necessary. I convinced him that I was being selfish and that I'd worry if I didn't hear from him. He agreed that we'd talk today and I felt relieved somewhat, that I'd at least bought some time. I called when I got home from work, got no answer and left a message that I would call back after dinner. I'm hoping to talk to his brother and make sure that he gets some kind of help. So that's why I asked for prayers...

Quick update: I talked to Rick last night, the surgery went well, his sight is coming back. He is in much better spirits. His brother took him shopping yesterday and he actually bought a light-up angel and a light-up tree to hang in his window. Thanks for your good thoughts and prayers. I'm going to see him in a couple of days.

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